Reaching New Depths of Lazy

I've alluded to Oscar's intense distaste for physical exertion before, but taking the last 5 or so years of his indolence into account now, I must report - he may have just hit rock bottom.

You know you have a lazy dog when traffic stops to worriedly ask you if your dog is ill - or dead - and if you need any help... Yep. That happened last week (and no, it was not because my dog was ill, or for goodness sake dead).


It's quite routine for the Beast to take at least one 'lay-down break' on a grassy patch during any summer walkie (FACT: heat increases propensity for laziness). I don't mind if I've got the time to sit (bless you, my hand-held mobile office device), but I prefer said grassy patches to be on quiet side streets, preferably with nice landscaping and prim Cambridge homes to admire. Last week, Oscar had other plans. He lost his will to walk one step further before we had even made it off the main drag. Not only did he succumb to the toil of plodding along on a median, of all places, but in the great flop onto his side, a portion of his rear actually flopped off the curb, leaving his back legs jutting off into the road. Cripes. I'm not sure he even noticed this detail, he just shut his eyes, stretched out long, and exhaled into the great unrousable lump that is Oscar on siesta. And indeed, no fewer than 3 vehicles hastened to a stop on their way by, offering assistance for my clearly ailing animal... My thanks and apologies to those kind folks - hand over my heart, we were not pulling any pranks. *How amazing is the placement of the orange street markings in the above photos?! The dog couldn't have planned that better if he had tried...

I've been meaning to do a little series of the signature "Oscar Flop" - now would seem a fitting occassion. This isn't your typical 'hind-end first into a sit, ease down into a lying position' kind of move, it's rather like the Beast just runs aground, mid-step - buckling in the front, face down then shoved forward from the back, ending with a proper keeling over sideways (which results in the audible "flop" of a rather lot of dog hitting the ground). Like so:


Once down, a 95lb creature is surprisingly difficult to get up - when there is protest, you end up with a tantrum on the ground in front of you: there's rolling and kicking and mouthing your hands - there's groaning and whining and backtalk, while he can. It's horribly amusing, and I *shouldn't* let him get away with it, I know - but we have an understanding, he and I - this is an exception to a great many rules...

That said, a lazier beast I have yet to meet.

Comments

[Mandy]

Lol! My Meeka does that every morning in my bedroom as soon as she hits the carpet! Your illustration is just fab... Funny dogs!

[Yuko]

Hahaha!! Natalya, not only is your Oscar beyond adorable but your writing is fantastic and your drawings are simply superb. I have such a clear mental image of Oscar performing his "flop" and you did a wonderful job of conveying his blissfully lazy expression in those drawings. I can't stop laughing at the idea of concerned people thinking he was dying.
While I can imagine how his propensity to randomly "die" on walks to regain his strength could be inconvenient and even disconcerting, I do envy you. Taro is the complete opposite; extremely hyper (at 6 years old! still as bad as in puppyhood!) and will not calm down even if I pick out a nice spot for us to sit and relax while out on a walk. He'll continuously circle around me, whining and waiting for some kind of play/work/instruction. If I tell him to lie down and relax, he'll stay down but very much alert and at attention (cute but kinda annoying too ;))

Maybe we could perform a little exchange... Oscar can have some of Taro's excitement and Taro could certainly benefit from some degree of Oscar's laid back attitude ;)

Glad to hear that your beautiful boy is doing so well. He looks as handsome as ever and clearly he is fulfilling his role very well (to keep you entertained). Can't wait for your next Oscar post!

- Yuko (and Taro & Aja)

[Natalya]

THANK YOU Yuko!! You are too kind... I hear you on the "lazy dog envy", but really, you have GSDs because they fit your lifestyle - I'd think a hound with Oscar's pitiful energy level (and infuriating pig-head!) would drive you up the walls! Hahaha... you tell Taro he's a good lad for ringing true to his breed and keeping the human on her toes! :) Hope he's doing great - I miss his handsome mug (suuuuuch a looker he is...) - and Aja as well.

And you're absolutely right - Oscar fulfills his role in my life LIKE A CHAMP. Don't know what we'd do without our dogs...

[Jan of Cambridge Canine]

Love your drawings! My 1-year-old dog Eddie typically lies down several times in the course of a walk and has to be coaxed back onto his feet (he only weighs 27 lbs so I can pick him up if I have to). Sometimes I even have to drag him off the porch! The heat is definitely a factor -- I'm hoping the crisp fall weather will put the bounce back in his step. Meanwhile he's happier spending most of the day hunkered down near the AC vents inside.